Perception

Tonight my attention was turned to perception.I'm amazed about how much I do is based on how I want to be perceived by other people. I can honestly say that one thing I fear is that people will think that I'm unkind or cruel. I don't want people to have a negative opinion of me in any way. And yet when I think of this objectively it doesn't really matter that much. Everyone's perception is not only made up of the observations but also of that persons past experiences, beliefs, and emotions. That is not something that truly reflects me.

As a person, I can only make the choices that I believe are right for me. If I am truly doing what I believe is best then what I'm doing is the correct choice. Who could ask for more than that of themselves? I think the problem lies in believing that other peoples thoughts and opinions are factual; that they have substance. I cannot control how other people are going to think. I don't know how anyone else will interpret my choices. And, for that point, it shouldn't matter because their opinions and thoughts are theirs, and I cannot truly affect them or change them. Yet I want to help shape these perceptions. I don't want people to attach their own ideas to my life when they carry negative connotations. But again, why does it matter.

Isn't the whole point of being alive to live your own life. I don't have to answer to anyone but myself. If I can honestly say that I'm doing all I can to live a good life, and try to respect others, then isn't that enough? Do I need to have the approval of others as to the choices I make and how I conduct myself?

I think that this is one of my weaknesses. I place to much value on others perception of me rather than knowing what I'm doing. I don't trust in my own decisions perhaps and look for outside justification. Perhaps this is a dangerous thing to do since I don't know how anyone will read a set of circumstances. Maybe the secret to feeling full and satisfied is to trust in myself and my decisions.