Running for example is something that is great for me. I know that many people just don't want to run for anything and yet I've found that I really enjoy it. Sure there is some discomfort at the beginning of the run until I get into the rhythm of it but that is part of the experience. And as I get into the rhythm I love that as I run my mind processes things. I feel energized by the run at the end even when I'm physically tired. And the benefits are there long after, I sleep better and I have more energy. I also find that I have less hunger (weird huh) after the workout. So with all of these positives why is it that I don't want to do it. I mentally wrestle with myself right up to the moment that I'm getting out the door. And it's amazing the rationale that my mind comes up with.
Running isn't the only time that I do this with myself. And yet I don't know why. It's a good habit. I know that it takes something like 2 months to create a habit and yet I've done it longer than that. As in the past I know that if I have a week where something comes up it is all too easy to let the running go. And then, it's almost shocking how quickly, a year has gone by with no running. I have to believe that other people have this same issue in their life. I start on a path to better myself and I sabotage myself in any way possible.
I find that I keep telling myself that I need to be disciplined. It's funny that this word seems to have a negative connotation to it. As a kid you are disciplined when you are bad and yet it is a good quality that everyone should possess. I remind myself that I need to be disciplined in some things. I need to take control and push myself farther. And no, this isn't being a taskmaster, it's most often in the little choices; not letting myself stop in the middle of cleaning the house, making the meal I planned to rather than just picking up some fast food, or finishing the lap I'm walking/running instead of cutting out early. I think that there is an ego boost every time I am disciplined since it proves to me that I can conquer that little part in my head that tells me it would rather be lazy. I am in charge of me!
Perhaps if I can figure out the discipline thing I can actually keep the habit. Maybe my trouble is that I'm lazy at heart? Who can know.
dis·ci·pline (d
s
-pln)n.
1. Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.
2. Controlled behavior resulting from disciplinary training; self-control.
From thefreedictionary.com
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