Vacation

I have been on vacation. I would love to say that this is true in a traditional sense of the word but really it's not that glamorous. I've really been taking a vacation from all of the rituals that I set up for myself over the past few months. I've stopped many of my routines in exchange for going out and meeting people. I've wandered away from the healthier eating that I've been doing to lose weight. And for all of this I can not say that I'm that much happier from it.

A couple of weeks ago I realized that there were many events that were coming up that seemed to revolve around "good eating". And so, I decided that I wasn't going to punish myself for eating at these events but rather just allow it. I have been good about not being down on myself for it but simply tried to remain aware of it. Last week I thought that it was time to start eating well again but that didn't stick. I was on "vacation" from eating right and as long as I was enjoying the destination I might as well stay a bit longer. Meanwhile, I've been changing my schedule a lot to try and get involved with more social events. I've really been enjoying going out and spending time with old friends and meeting new ones. The result of this is that I have less time for all of the personal routines that I enjoy. I have not made it to yoga in two weeks. I did not go running more than once in a week. I even found that I wasn't spending any time with just myself. It boiled down to taking a break from everything I was doing just a couple of weeks ago.

It is good that I've been in a state of mind where I'm able to notice what I'm doing even when I'm not making  the best choices. Today I realized it was time to come back from vacation. I realized that I was missing "home". So I summoned my willpower and went for a run. I quickly fell into my old habit that I had been trying to create. I was able to let my mind wander and I realized how much I missed this. I realized that taking a break really let me appreciate what I was getting out of these routines; from watching what I ate, stopping the exercise, and most importantly spending time alone to think. I think that this is really the point of any vacation, isn't it? Whenever I go on vacation there comes that point where I realize that while the trip is nice there is something even better about going home. I appreciate what my home and my life there has to offer that I can't get from vacationing.

I am now know how much I actually like all of the "work" that I've created for myself. I feel so much better when I'm focusing my energy on me. Tonight I find myself very relaxed and at peace. I took joy in spending time alone and remembered that this is just as important as being social. Perhaps I need to again move myself up on my priority list.

Now that I'm home I think it will be a while before I take another vacation.