Today the rain came. There is a peace that comes over me when it rains. The weather makes me relax and smile as it touches my soul. The smell of the rain fills my nose and invigorates me with its clean and pure scent. I love listening to the white-noise as it drums on the ground outside. It seems to drown out all the problems of the world as it attempts to clear the air. I feel as though I am wrapped up in this weather and it fits me like a warm old blanket that is comforting. Rainy weather is truly one of the joys I have in life and i never understand how people get upset with it. The only thing that I would enjoy more than the rain is enjoying it with someone that I can hold.
Tonight I passed on offers to go out on the town. I found myself making the conscious decision to stay in because what I need right now is not going to be found in the noise pollution of a bar. It is Friday but I don't need to be going out to drink and keeping myself from thinking. Part of my difficulties in getting in touch with myself, as I've said, is that I keep getting off track. I go out usually because I start feeling better about my state of mind. But going out frequently leads me to ignoring my own needs and rituals and then I'm back to square one. Tonight by going out I would have sacrificed some down time in which I didn't have any plans. (odd that these times are something that I need to protect) Going out would probably have ended with me staying downtown with friends after drinking at the bars. This then would have caused me to have excuses to skip the run that I have planned for the morning. The spiral spins off and its all from something small. This is something I've done before. It's fun in the moment and then later on I wish I had made different choices. I know that staying home tonight was a sound decision on my part. (as I'm writing this I have friends continuing to text me to try and get me to go out...I should remember this in the times where I feel like I'm ignored) I still am trying to figure out how to balance being around people and being alone. I seem to not want to be alone often, but being around people too much seems to get me off track. Practice the balance. (I need to get back to yoga)
I don't have a lot planned this weekend and I think that it will be good for me to just do some things around my house. The rain is supposed to continue to fall on and off for the rest of the weekend. I think I will enjoy the cleansing, calming nature of it and relax. Life is good.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment