Wagons

This week has flown by. I can't believe that today is already Thursday. A lot has happened this week, good and emotionally trying. I was going to write "bad" there but I don't think "bad" would be the right adjective. The emotionally trying part is much more accurate. It has been a week that has made me dig deep and crawl forward. Changes are difficult and cause discomfort; I know that this is growth.

It's interesting to me how in trying times, where some aspect of life is difficult, I dismiss what I should be doing and move back into poor choices. It's almost like there is an unwritten rule in the back of my head that since I'm doing something tough I don't have to focus on any other aspect of my life. In this case it is my eating habits that have seemingly gone out of the window this week. Granted I'm not gorging myself on unhealthy foods, but I am making some poor choices. I am feel regrets at the end of the day for what I've done and that's not good. The sad part is that I recognize these choices and STILL make them. I dismiss it as a right I have because it's a rough time/week. Well it's bull, and I need to get myself back on the wagon.

I still can't seem to figure out why it's so easy to stop eating right. I really feel fantastic when I'm making good food choices and I stop when I'm full or even slightly under-full. I am energized when I stick to my stretching and running routines. Why can't I hold onto those highs rather than returning to the short, immediate gratification medium enjoyments from food and lethargy. I don't feel good when I'm eating like this. And this isn't even an epiphany I'm having right now. This is an argument I've been having with myself for years now.

Perhaps there is no answer to the why it happens. Perhaps the secret is recognizing it sooner and jumping back onto the wagon before it travels too far down the road. Maybe that's how other people stay on track. I don't see them hop off so much because they are hopping back on before anyone misses them. So now after a week of not doing what I want to health wise I'm grabbing a seat again. One week isn't so bad. Maybe next time it will be even faster before I get back on... I'm sure that I'll slip again. Who buttered the floor of this wagon anyway?